February 27, 2012
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What If This Is As Good As It Gets?
In one of my favorite movies, Jack Nicholson walks up to a group of severely depressed psychiatric patients, turns to them, and asks:
“What if this is as good as it gets?”
We were taught from childhood that the grass is always greener on the other side. That we should accept nothing less of perfection. If we aren’t first, we’re last. We spend our whole lives working to attain one goal after another, improving our chances at happiness one day at a time. And while goals are a healthy thing, and self-improvement is far from unfulfilling, sometimes we just need to…need to…
STOP.
We need to stop and remember it’s not the goal, it’s the steps we take towards it. Rather than beat myself up for not being as thin as I’d like, I need to focus on the fact I am losing weight. More importantly, I am healthier now than ever before in my life. I’ve even made a great friend who motivates me and shows me new resistance workouts at the gym. Instead of getting caught up in future plans with Adam, I need to cherish every second I have with him right now. We are able to be together every single day. We have the same morals, the same humor, the same interests. We are happy together, we are faithful to one another, we hold hands and cuddle and take long walks in the mountains… Not every couple is that lucky. My relationship with Adam is blessed with so many beautiful moments that I know are special… Even when it comes to school work, and graduating on time, and getting into the honors program I want and the major I want…why can’t I just focus on each test as they come, and feel proud of myself? Why am I so hard on myself?
I’m on the right track in everything in life, I feel it. For all I know, I could lose my health, my boyfriend, my scholarship all overnight. While I haven’t attained any of my “goals” yet…can’t I be proud that right now, this moment, I am doing well? I am happy in this moment! I am happy with myself, I am proud of myself! And that is something I haven’t always had!
Maybe the number one goal in life is the simplest one, and yet I’d forgotten…the number one goal isn’t to constantly strive for more, but just to appreciate every ounce of goodness, of happiness, in the world. Cherish this moment, because it could truly be as good as it gets.
May
Comments (22)
So true! I think everyone needs to be reminded of this every once in a while. Thank you for posting this. I needed it.
thanks for the reminder.. hard to swallow and appreciate yourself sometimes.
People just need to make their lives into what they want them to be. Just my opinion.
Good job being on the right track.
@crazy2love - What do you want your life to be? I’m not trying to be judgmental, I’m just interested in people’s ideas about that.
@crazy2love - Well, yes. I never said people shouldn’t form their lives to what makes them happy. I am only saying, we shouldn’t be SO hard on ourselves and we should still appreciate the little accomplishments along the way. That’s my biggest struggle, always feeling that I’m not doing enough.
@phantomFive - In the general sense, to be fairly comfortable and content. I don’t think a person can say happiness, because if you let it be what it is, life is full of happiness, and also sadness and sorrow. As far as a career, I haven’t got that figured out yet. What I really wanted was to be a stay at home mom. But until that happens (if it does), I’m going to school and getting a degree. I hadn’t figured it out until just recently, but I want to do something with the brain. Either biologically or mentally. The brain is fascinating and powerful, and I love learning about it.
wow. great post. made me think.
Whoever said “if you’re not first, you’re last” must’ve been drunk. Heck, you can be second, third, fourth, or even fifth! hahaha
@crazy2love - interesting
A wonderful post:)
I don’t believe the grass is greener on the other side. From a distance it looks good but from where you are, you may not see the bald patches. I recently heard from a friend that it is usually better to work on making your grass greener rather envying what is on the other side. It’s good that you have goals for yourself, there is always room for improvement in the various aspects of your life. Things to do, things to learn.
@babybug329 – I totally agree. Improve your own life. Constantly comparing it to someone else’s is not the way to happiness
I need to work at this…being satisfied with this moment.
I’ve learned that contentment and suffice can be a great feeling…because it could be the opposite with you being in a state of severe needs.
what a lovely post this is!
i think human nature and the norm is to make comparison between others, and us being competitive most by nature, ofcourse want to live up to our comparisons.sometimes it’s unconscious, and we have no control over it.and i guess society does play with our minds a shit load. we get influenced a lot by what a ‘fulfilled life’ is suppose to look like, so people try to live up to it, and set goals.-go to school-get a degree-get a job-get married-have a family^those just seem to be the norm, the perceived gate to happiness.but i agree with you.i think if anything goals will bring sadness to your life, it will drag you away from what matters and what is really important.i think the most important thing in life is being at peace with yourself and your surroundings and maybe then you will find happiness.’cause i believe the whole point of life, is to pursue happiness, and pursue making others happy too.
*shrugs, i don’t know.but interesting concept!
tc xo
Great post. As one that seems to have never lived up to what others wanted me to be, I say you don’t have to live in my skin. I am at a point in my life where I want to be selfish. I want to be happy for ME. Is that possible, I really don’t know. However, I will keep trying.
It is human nature to always want more.
Part of always wanting more or better is not being satisfied or appreciating where one is or the good that exists in one’s life now. Nothing wrong with aspiring for better; just don’t overlook the good around oneself.
You’re what, 22 at most? I’m thinking younger, even.
Yeah, you’re definitely on the right track. The maturity to be able to realize these things while life is still so new and full of possibility is rare.
For what its worth from a tired stranger, you’re an impressive young lady, and I truly wish you success beyond your wildest dreams.
Never take today for granted… Its all you’ve got.
Yes this has been my new resolution. Last night I was pissed at my husband for being in a bad mood all night and then I realized, you know, we’ve had a lot of good days together, definitely more good than bad, why am I focusing on this one night? Everyone has bad days, I have bad days all the time and he puts up with me. Focus on the positive and not the negative. And then I slept soundly.
I LOVE this! You are so right! – And tanks for the sweet comment<3
this post is absolutely beautiful!