October 20, 2010
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Relationships With Language Barriers
Since arriving in Germany at the beginning of the summer, I have fallen in love with a local. While my German has improved – much of that reason being my want to better communicate with him – the language can still be a problem. When dating someone with another culture and language, you have to be ready for frustrations, miscommunication, and embarrassing mix-ups. The most important thing I’ve learned is to keep an open mind and always be prepared to laugh it off.
I can not always say what I mean in the words that I want to, and constantly repeating myself with different inflections and wording until one of them is correct can be exhausting. Sometimes I feel so frustrated that I blurt out English – which my boyfriend generally fails to understand. On the other hand, he is very supportive. He offers suggestions for what I am trying to say, and repeats everything with me until I can say it correctly. A few days ago we were at the train station together and I wanted to take the escalator. I called it Auftreppe, because Aufzug I know means elevator and Treppe means stairs. He smiled and taught me the word Rolltreppe. Just like when a child points to a color in a book or an animal in a zoo and asks the parent What is this?, it takes a lot of time and patience to learn a new language in a new country.
Sometimes things don’t translate well. Mixing up werden and waeren is like mixing up We definitely will and We could but I doubt it. A few heated moments have passed when the wrong word was used. Also some words in German, regrettably, sound exactly the same to me. Attempts at good night have often turned into good naked, and man this weather is humid today sounds awfully close to man this weather is homosexual today. All in all, being prepared to laugh it off and accept corrections can actually make the mix-ups fun.
A few days after we started dating, I decided to ask him to kiss me. Butzenis a word used in Rheinland for kiss. What I thought was butz mich came out a lot more like bums mich - bumsen vs butzen. There was a very awkward silence – a literally stop moving and breathing silence - before he asked me to clarify exactly what I was asking for. After clarifying I wanted a kiss and not sex, we laughed and kissed and laughed again. It has become an inside joke between us. When more awkward moments occur in our attempts to understand one another, we laugh it off all the same.
Love exists and communicates between people regardless of language barriers. A person doesn’t require Shakespeare’s prose from her lover to know she is loved. Instead of looking at our language and cultural differences as a barrier, we find it as just an adventure to bring us closer. Understanding is a bonding process in all relationships – ours is just a little different.
M
Comments (10)
I’m sure the look on his face after you requesting him for a kiss and him thinking something else was hilarious!
This is one of the best entries I’ve seen all day. It’s interesting how that works, when I was in Spain, I had a friend who was in a relationship like yours.
Sometimes, I have a hard enough time just trying to communicate in English.
Excellent post. Reach fluency before speaking to native speakers. Got it.
I probably will face similar things since I hope to be moving abroad within the next year.
Aww, the fun moments caused by language barriers
Great post!
Awww that’s amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@bluepillorredpill - Haha you have no idea…if I only had a camera!
@ItIsAllGravy - Thanks. It’s definately not the easiest relationship to maintain, but its definately worth it.
@Automaton_Emotion - Thank you
@puella_sapiens216 - Aww where are you going?! And yes, you’ll definately have the same mix-ups..
@haloed - Thanks
@sonnigenmai - Originally I was thinking Prague (Czech Republic), but now I’m considering anywhere from Central/Eastern Europe, Scandinavia, Asia, UK… um, basically I don’t care where in the world I am, as long as I am travelling and immersing myself in new cultures and traditions
Oh, and thanks for the little lesson in German in your post – I’m learning German now and I got a good laugh at these words – now I know to not make those mistakes and I know what an elevator is
ha, this was very entertaining. I have had the experience of dating someone from a different culture. she did not always know what she was saying, and I would have to clarify to make sure she was saying what she thought she was saying. But it can cause some serious complications and misinterpretations.
But I never considered what it was like to be on the other side of the coin.
You can overcome the obstacles, I am sure. Best of luck!
Good on ya for overcoming barriers. Personally I think the language thing would be too much of a hurdle for me because I am a very verbal person and further hindrances on communication would probably drive me up the wall!