June 18, 2009
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Look Into The Mirror And Tell Me What You See
Kind of a personal thought…
One thing I realized during my experience at Girls’ State is that I am not a bad person. This is a new feeling for me…
Growing up, I was the spoiled brat. I was selfish and threw a complete fit when I didn’t get my way. I would cry when I was frustrated, and this quickly earned me a place as a target for bullies. My family was military, and we moved often enough that I could make the effort to be better at each school. By seventh grade, I had a firm foundation. I was still a loner, but not because of others’ dislike of me; it was just a more comfortable place for me. I had learned by then to listen to others, to be a friend rather than drain my friends. I stopped crying (publicly), but my stress took a new form as a VCD – my throat would close up. Still, upon entering high school, I was fairly likeable. In the past years, I have continued to struggle with my character. I no longer elaborate or lie, I’m becoming more humble, I no longer judge others (this is a new one)…I’m finding strength within myself. It’s difficult, for me; it is a constant conscious effort to fight my nature (my childhood). Sometimes, I would break down and cry because I still worried I wasn’t trying hard enough and still wasn’t good enough…
But, that’s the thing…if I care so much, if I try so hard…then I can’t be that bad of a person, can I? If I continue to fight, continue to improve…then I can only get better.
Today I looked into the mirror and smiled. You’re not perfect I told myself but you’re doing alright…
M
Comments (7)
nobody can or should be perfect. if you don’t have room to grow… then you’re not alive! i’m happy to hear you can accept the fact that you are not perfect, but you are still in a good place.
In my opinion, you are perfect, May. You grew up fast, grew up well. I am proud to say, I love you as your friend, boyfriend, and hopefully your husband.
I cannot wait to see you again.
Nobody is perfect and when you think your perfect your far from it. I have learned my lesson on that. No one liked me when I was all into myself thinking I was perfect. And now i changed my personality. So I don’t believe it is real. I think being perfect takes over the brain.
this is awesome! you don’t need to be perfect, but you seem like you are happy with yourself and that; is perfection! just keep aiming to be all you can, there’s nothing else you can do. expect to make mistakes, just learn how to deal with them better.
The last line is very encouraging. And I agree, you can’t be all that bad if you’re trying.
I hope you’re fine. No news good news?
I’m sorry I haven’t been around, I wish I’d stopped in sooner! You are making an effort, and thats what makes all the difference!