April 8, 2009
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On My Mind
My friend recently had a pregnancy scare. I looked at her and quietly asked
If you are pregnant, what are you going to do?
This question has been ruminating in my mind for quite some time now. What if it happened to me? I talked to C briefly – he gets quickly uncomfortable on the subject – and he said he would want to keep the child. I would be afraid that, if I didn’t give it up for adoption, my whole future would be altered, and not in the way in which I would prefer. At the same time, could I really hand over my child to someone else? Abortion seems like such an easy out, but I know I would never go through with it…
So, to rephrase my question…
If you became pregnant, what would you do?
M
Comments (23)
Abortion ftw!
Well, I suppose I’d buy a crib.
well I know you’re getting this from my blog, so you know I’d recommend abortion.
I want to know something though, because a lot of time when people try to talk someone out of abortion, then talk about all the grief and regret and all the mental and emotional hardship they’re going to have to go through for terminating their pregnancy and I gotta ask (because I’m not sure if you believe its like that) how does that make abortion sound easy?
I could never go through giving up my child for adoption because 1. I believe if I made the choice to have that child then I am going to keep it. and 2. I think after carrying a baby-to-be for 9 months that I’d get too attached to let it go. I mean, its my baby. I just wouldn’t be able to give it away. Especially to an adoption home. The system is horrible and what if he/she never gets picked? Then he/she will live their whole lives in some orphanage or being moved around from family to family. I would hate myself for doing that to someone.
So I guess since you’re against abortion, my advice to you would have been to keep the baby and raise it.
God, that baby is too adorable! Got any ugly babies?
I’m a guy… but if I got a girl pregnant, I would change my entire life around… I would stop doing stuff for myself and start doing everything for the baby. It’s a responsibility I would take on and be committed to. I would not slack on it.
I would research as much as I could to make the child’s life as good as I could give.
Well I’m a manly man but if I got preggers the first thing I would ponder is how and why. The second would be I would buy looser fitting clothes and some cream just in case if my nipples get tender. Then buy the necessities my child would need.
@SerenaDante - Somehow I knew you’d say that
@MySecretLoveAffair - I take that to mean, you’d keep. Where to find a nice crib?
@thinkin_up_dreams - Those are the reasons I could never abort. I’d hate myself, and probably kill myself for killing my child (erm, fetus, if you prefer). Thank you for your thoughts though, they are appreciated very much.
@SilentSeekr - Are you kidding? I have never seen an ugly baby! Ugly children, maybe, but babies are designed to be simply adorable.
@BenevolentOne - You are very much like C. I hope if worse ever comes to worse, he acts the way you have described…thank you…
@LetheOfHeaven - LOL you took this the wrong way…But you would definately get famous and pleanty of people would send you baby supplies, at least!
M
@sonnigenmai - Urm… thanks? I think lol..
@sonnigenmai - Eh. It just seems to me like the most responsible choice, as opposed to bringing a child into this world that I wouldn’t be able to take care of well, or bringing a child into this world that adoptive services wouldn’t be able to take care of well.
@BenevolentOne - lol thank you for your input, its nice to know men are willing to step up to the plate.
@SerenaDante - True…I just wouldn’t be able to do it…
M
@sonnigenmai - Makes sense. I guess what I wouldn’t be able to do is see my child suffering in life, or thinking of that child suffering. Personally, I think death would be better than misery.
@SerenaDante - I still couldn’t do it. I would fight to find an adoptive family before even considering abortion…but I don’t know…you make me think…I don’t like it lol
M
Well, if I were to get pregnant, something REALLY drastic must have happened, 1) because my boyfriend isn’t even here and 2) even if he was here I want to remain abstinent until marriage (I haven’t even been kissed before. lol) BUT if for some crazy reason that were to happen, I would never even abort, no matter what the circumstances. Children are a gift from the Lord. Also, I am almost finished with my degree, and have a very supportive family who would help me. Adoption would be a last option. Abortion isn’t an option at all.
I’ve totally been there…I’m often convinced that I am the .1% of women who can get pregnant while on birthcontrol. Most people assume that being married and about to graduate college, my husband and I would not question keeping an unexpected pregnancy. Unfortunately, I only have college-provided health care, which won’t cover a pregnancy or a baby.
I think it’s really neat you feel comfortable talking to your mom about a pregnancy scare. I never felt comfortable enough to share that kind of information with my mom.
If I got pregnant it would be a miracle because I am not sexually active. If I somehow did become pregnant then I would have the baby and keep the baby and raise it.
Its an easy answer for me – I’d be excited! But I am in a totally different place in my life. I have gone to college. I have a steady income. I am married. I plan on having kids in the next couple of years. Jim and I have talked about it. If I were to get pregnant (despite the birth control), we would both be excited.
When I was in high school, and I was in a similar situation, I thought about it a bunch. It was never a question for me – I would keep the child. I knew that my family wouldnt be happy about the situation, but they would help. My (then) boyfriend’s family would be the same way.
Something to think about: my life hasnt turned out the way I had planned anyway. I dont think anyone’s life ever does. You can make the most of the situation, even when unexpected.
Hmm… If I did I think I would have have a word with Mum and explain the situation. She would be a little annoyed if I fall pregnant at this age (18) as she would say its too young, plus finances make the situation stressful and worrying.
@SkyL1ght - I wish I was in your situation…
@dylan197 - My mom and I are really close. If we weren’t, I would not have made it this far in life
I feel like that small percent, too. My sister was born when my dad was barely 17, so I know fertility is on my side…
@echois23 - Its so much easier said that done…
@der_lila_Stern - What happened when you were in this situation?
@katieannrice - Exactly!
M
@sonnigenmai - I was never pregnant. So the issue of what, exactly would happen never came up. It was not something I ever discussed with either of my parents. I do think my (then) boyfriend said whatever I wanted to hear so that he could get what he wanted. (So I am very thankful now that I was never pregnant.)
@der_lila_Stern - I hope I’m not…I REALLY hope I’m not. I’m glad that you turned out fine, and are with someone who truly loves you now…
M
@sonnigenmai - I know it’s much easier to talk about raising a child than it is to do it because I am doing it. I was there the day my niece was born. I was still in my teens when she was born. I helped deliver her and from that day on I have been taking care of her. I just recieved legal custody of her this year and I have a lot of help from family members but it’s still very challenging. Juggling school and baby and work meant that I had to change my entire life but she’s worth it. This year I also got custody of her two older brothers and I am very thankful that they are such great kids or I would probably go crazy.
Well, being 19 and a freshman in college… this is difficult. I did think I was pregnant earlier this year, so I had to prepare myself for the tough decisions.
Right now I’m going to school in FL, a thousand miles away from my home in PA. Although I’m pro-choice, I’d never get an abortion myself. I’d keep the baby, and move back to my mother’s house in PA. I know she’d help me in every way possible. She doesn’t have an actual job – she babysits a young kid every day, so I know she could watch my child while I was at work, since I’d need to get a job. Beyond the job and taking care of my child, I’d take online courses if there was time so that I could continue my education.
I would expect the father to get a job and help pay for childcare as well… whether or not he’d want to come to PA with me.
Thank God I wasn’t pregnant though…
ok shit i dontknow how tu put a comment in your last post but just for you to know
your not alone
be strong
and dont think about your problems
if your problems have solution then why are you stressed about them and if they dont have solution why are you stressed about them either
its just a moment it will pass
stay here cutie
your not alone!