December 30, 2012
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Post-Surgery
Surgery 4/5
Surgery 1 (June 2011) – removal of bone shards from upper jaw and nasal cavity
Surgery 2 (August 2011) – bone graft
Surgery 3 (March 2012) – second bone shard removal, second tooth removal, second bone graft
Surgery 4 (December 2012) – implantation of the screws into the upper jaw
Surgery 5 (March? 2013) – placement of new ‘teeth’
Seriously can’t I just be done with it all and have my life back again?
I spoke with my mom in the car today, trying to explain to her why I’m struggling.
Everyone just expects me to “get over” the horrific event that occurred on the night of June 1, 2011. They don’t understand why I can’t just laugh it off, why I still refuse to talk about the incident, why I’m still in counseling for PTSD. Why I never feel safe walking alone. Why sometimes, burrowed in my covers, I silently ask God why I wasn’t just run over by a train.
But as you can see, this is still a painfully real part of my life. And honestly, I think I’m healing from it the best that I can. I hope once all the surgery is over, and I no longer face a constant reminder of the trauma when I look in the mirror, I hope that then I will be able to move on.
Thank you all for your support. Especially those that have been with me for every step of my journey.
I’m not giving up. Just growing stronger.
May
Comments (10)
they really expect you to just get over it? man, that’s uncool. ESPECIALLY since, as you say, it’s in the mirror every time. having said that, your present attitude sounds very healthy. you know what they say: “when you’re going through hell…”
Sorry to hear there are people that expect you to just get over something as traumatic as that. Glad to hear you’re getting stronger. Hope you have a blessed 2013.
It’s hard to just “forget” with constant doctor visits and surgery schedulings. :/ You truly are inspiring with the way you handle what happened to you and the care required to help with the damages. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re wrong in doing what you have to do to deal and recover from this ordeal. Just keep fighting!
Stay strong, love!
your doing great hun! <3 especially with your mental health now, your actually doing great. No one will ever understand what you’ve been through and really all you can ask is that they get over the fact that you can’t get over it. And with your surgery’s and recoveries, you have the love and support of us all and im sure your friends and family!
theres no way to get over something like that. i hope that when this is all done you can heal a bit more.
I know I and others have said this before, but you truly are an inspiration. I’m sorry that everyone thinks you should just be fine and all better now and not affected but that is just not a realistic thing to expect. That night and the days afterwards have left a lot for you to deal with, but you’re dealing with it. You’re meeting it head on, and that is incredibly admirable. Don’t let anyone get you down and don’t be too hard on yourself. Just keep swimming.
You never really “just get over” traumatic events. I still have bad dreams about bullying I underwent as a student in the eighth grade, and that was thirty six years ago. At any rate, May with the beautiful name and the beautiful heart and spirit, I will remember you in my prayers. I’m sorry to hear that you are still undergoing stress….but that’s okay, and that’s normal.
You may never really get over what happened. Stress, bad stuff, and just plain dumb fortune can cause bad memories and other secondary events. The main thing is to keep your head up, stay strong, and don’t be afraid to ask for Help.
We will remember you in prayer.
And we also hope you have a fine, blessed, and prosperous New Year and 2013…
i am so proud of you! keep going strong, beautiful girl. you have come so far and are almost done with this. you have come a long, long way and you have grown with each step… you are incredible and wonderful and here for a reason. never forget that. i love you very much!! <3
It sounds like you went through something pretty traumatic. Although I don’t understand your specific situation, and I can’t relate to it- I do know what trauma feels like. 2 years ago I went through a few very awful things during my time living on the streets, and when I got sober I was diagnosed with PTSD and a “Borderline Personality Disorder”. It was very hard to move on, especially when the people I loved the most told me that what happened to me was my fault, and to ‘hurry up and get over it’. It made it a lot harder.
But in the end, my fault or not, horrible things happened. And it takes time to build yourself back up and be OK with who you are sometimes. It will take time but you sound like a wonderful and very strong woman, and I know you can do it!
@feathergeorgette – Thank you. I’m sorry for your experiences, but its true – they make us stronger