January 24, 2013
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Men
Just so we are clear, I have not, nor do I plan on, cheating on Adam. Especially with his fraternity brother.
That said, I am very close friends with him, and we both realized today that maybe we were getting too close emotionally. We agreed to figure out specific barriers, and spend less time around each other. I really do love Adam, but I’m worried when he tends to shove me off on his frat brother when he doesn’t have time for me. I agree with all of you that I need to focus on Adam and figure out how to get that closeness back. I miss him.
If anyone has nonjudgemental advice I’d love to hear it. I’m really trying to do the right thing, and I hope this is just a stupid phase.
May
Comments (9)
Tell him how you feel and what you want to happen and see what he says.
maybe you can try to distance yourself from his friend a little while? Focus more on trying to get to a happy place w/ Adam? maybe things between you and his friend Will just cool off. sorry if that doesn’t help hun :/
like I said, you need to introduce something new and exciting into yours and adams relationship. something you’ll both enjoy. you also need to tell him how you feel. he can’t fix anything if he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong. us guys are unfortunately not perfect and we fail to notice things sometimes.
It’s easy to get emotionally attached to someone when they’re always there for you, especially when the people you normally depend on pull away. You just need to put your foot down sometimes and communicate to your boyfriend that you need some of his time and attention. Everyone needs emotional support, and if he’s not going to give it to you, then of course you’re going to find it else where. If anything (and you still don’t want to get too close to another guy), I would try to find a girl friend (if you don’t already have one), and try to rely on her for some emotional support while your boyfriend is M.I.A. during times of need. That way you keep your self in a safe, non-controversial position, and hopefully get the support you need, and then hopefully your boyfriend will quickly realize the error of his ways. If he doesn’t after you’ve tried talking to him, then I think you really need to reconsider your relationship with him. I understand you love him and he loves you, but if you two aren’t fulfilling each others needs and you guys can’t seem to find a way to go back to doing so, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your relationship!
Stay strong!
I completely know how you feel, because I know it has happened to me before… I’d get close to someone else, only because I wasn’t spending that much time with the good one. I’d just recommend trying to spend more time with Adam, and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you miss the closeness you used to share, and that you don’t want to be close with anyone but him. At least, tell him that if that’s how you feel. You are so wonderful and I know you would never purposely do something to hurt someone you love, especially Adam since he’s always there for you. Remember I have your back no matter what and I want you happy. You will do the right think. Think in your heart and your mind.
I love you! <3
My wife and I agree that you should try to distance yourself from the frat friend, and I agree that a girlfriend would help if you know someone you can trust enough to talk to. Good luck.
I dont really have any advice, except to do what you are doing. If you do really have feelings for him, you can either take a break from one another and you and Adam can see other people, or you need to break up. But I really dont know all of what has happened between you and Adams Frat brother, so it is hard to really tell. If it isnt really anything, try focusing on your relationship, and maybe better communication.. like, does Adam know you feel he shoves you onto his frat brothers? Is he even the least bit jealous doing that might make you close to them and more distant form him? what does he think that leads to, just mathematically speaking, that doesn’t sound good at all.
If any of that sounds judgy (s that even a word? lol), I dont mean it to be. Just sharing my initial thoughts. but like I said, I would have to have a lot more information to give any better advice. In the end, it is your relationship and you have to decide what is best for you to do.
Good call, girl! You are definitely making the right choice here! <3
Thanks
And my only advice is just talk to your man about all of this, if he loves you he’ll try to work on it.